


Don't Reap My Sister

by musicalsarelife



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Protective Taako, Worried Kravitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23275885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalsarelife/pseuds/musicalsarelife
Summary: “You can’t reap my sister.”Kravitz felt his mouth fall open. He supposed he should be used to surprises from Taako at this point. Taako was constantly surprising him. It was part of the reason he loved him. After millennia, there wasn’t much that could shock Kravitz, but Taako just liked to be the exception to the rules. However, standing by the sink after dinner, Kravitz was honestly sure this was the last thing he would have ever expected.“What?”
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 130





	Don't Reap My Sister

A rip sounded right in front of Taako’s front door.

Kravitz materialized his corporeal form and tentatively knocked.

Technically, he could tear a portal directly into Taako’s living room, but that seemed rude. He didn’t want to make his new boyfriend uncomfortable, especially in said new boyfriend’s even newer home.

When the door opened, Barry Bluejeans smiled from the door frame, “Hey, Krav.” He beckoned him through the door, “The twins are inside.”

Barry ran a hand through his hair. He looked a little worse for wear, but Kravitz supposed it was to be expected. They had all saved the world just a couple weeks ago. The days after had been filled with Taako finding a home away from the moon base and moving everything as soon as he could. Kravitz followed Barry around half open boxes.

“Taako, it’ll be fine.” Lup’s voice could be heard from the other room.  


“Will it though?”

“Don’t chase away something good because of me.”

Kravitz frowned, as heard a bitter laugh. He glanced at Barry who grimaced slightly. Before he could ask though, Barry walked through the doorway. “Look who’s here.”

When Kravitz entered the living room, he saw Taako sitting on his couch. Lup’s spectral form floated near him, what would have been her forehead pressed to his.

“Am I early?” Kravitz asked.

Lup pulled away, “Naw, Skeletor, you’re right on time. Need to get Barry some grub soon, anyway.”

Barry grinned at Lup. Kravitz found it sweet, besotted as he was with her, even after decades. Lup drifted in a circle around her brother, and electricity crackled, causing Taako’s hair to frizz slightly. The frown that had remained on Taako’s face deepened slightly.

Lup giggled and moved to Barry. “Have a good dinner, Bone Man!”

“Lup, for fuck’s sake–” 

“Taako, chill. It’s all good.” She turned to face her brother again. Kravitz could just barely make out what was probably a very comforting smile.

Taako rolled his eyes and stood from the couch. Kravitz followed, as Taako walked Barry and Lup to the door. It was strange, seeing Lup hold Barry’s hand with her intangible form, but it was somehow clear that that was what she was doing. 

Taako mumbled something to the couple as they left, and Kravitz wished he could hear it. Kravitz had been finding himself wishing for so much of Taako lately. Not that Taako owed him anything, but it had begun since their date and only grown since The Day of Story and Song, Kravitz wanted everything Taako would allow him. Those words, however, those were for Lup and Barry. If he needed to know what was said, Taako would tell him.

Taako watched his sister from the doorway.

“Still getting used to her being back?” Kravitz asked.

With a sharp inhale, Taako turned back to him, “Is she back?”

“I–yes?” Kravitz frowned at the sharp look Taako gave him, “She’s here, right? Spectral, but here…I’m sure it’s probably bringing up a lot of emotions right now, but–”

“Yeah, it is,” Taako interrupted, “But, that’s not your bag. Let’s have dinner. Roast should be done soon, and if that sucker dries out, I will destroy everything.”

Kravitz chuckled, “Can’t have that.” He reached for Taako. After a moment, Taako let himself be pulled into Kravitz’s arms. “You just averted the apocalypse. It would be a shame to undo all that hard work.”

“Bet your ass, babe.”

Kravitz felt Taako minutely relax in his embrace. He pressed a kiss to the top of Taako’s head. “Okay, love, let’s eat.”

Finally, Taako gave him a small smile, setting Kravitz’s heart at ease, and led him to the dining room.

Dinner was lovely. Of course, it was. The rib roast practically melted in Kravitz’s mouth, and the sides of garlic potatoes and salad were impeccable. Kravitz expected nothing less. It was Taako after all. They enjoyed an amazing bottle of wine that Barry had apparently brought as a housewarming gift.

Conversation flowed. It was so easy with Taako. They discussed the woes of moving, hopes of redecorating, and Taako’s plans for the future. Apparently Ren had approached him about an opportunity. The elf was keeping particular details close to his chest, but he seemed excited. 

Then, their talk turned towards Kravitz’s work. There was so much to fix after The Hunger attacked. Taako grew quieter. Kravitz wanted to ask, but decided to write it off. It had been a long week.

Then Kravitz asked about Taako’s visit from Lup and Barry. For the briefest of moments, Taako froze, and then he plastered a smile on his face. It was off-putting in a way. It wasn’t unattractive, but the soft, sincere smiles that Taako gave him were different. Kravitz wasn’t used to the Taako from TV  TM smiles.

“Taako?”

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing.”

“Taako, please…”

Taako sighed and his shoulders fell. “It’s just…I’m tired.”

It felt like a lie, or more of a half-truth. The reaper furrowed his brow, but Taako offered no more explanation. He sighed, sure the wizard would explain when he as ready. “Here.” Kravitz held out a hand. “Give me your plate.”

Without a word, Kravitz carried dishes to the sink and began to fill the basin with water.

“What in the world are you doing, Krav?” Taako watched him with wide eyes.

“You cooked. The least I can do is wash. Go ahead and put on Fantasy Top Chef. I’ll be in soon.”

Taako didn’t move from the doorway. Kravitz could feel panic rolling off of him. He didn’t want to push, but he could only ignore so much. With a frown, he took a breath, “Love, please–“

“You can’t reap my sister.”

Kravitz felt his mouth fall open. He supposed he should be used to surprises from Taako at this point. Taako was constantly surprising him. It was part of the reason he loved him. After millennia, there wasn’t much that could shock Kravitz, but Taako just liked to be the exception to the rules. However, standing by the sink after dinner, Kravitz was honestly sure this was the last thing he would have ever expected.

“What?”

“You can’t reap Lup. You can’t.”

“I don’t understand–”

“I play dumb. Maybe, I am dumb–”

“You’re not dumb, Taako–”

The elf barreled on, “But, she’s a lich, and I know that’s bad usually. I know that’s like seventeen death crimes on its own, and she died and came back a whole bunch. But, you can’t take her, Krav. I just got her back. She was gone for twelve years, and I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t even remember her, but I wasn’t me. I can’t, gods, I can’t–”

Taako eyes were starting to shine, and Kravitz could hear the constriction in his throat, as he tried to get words out. “Taako, love, breathe.” He reached for his boyfriend. He took Taako’s hands in his own.

“You won’t take her?” Taako sounded small, looking at their joined hands instead of Kravitz’s face.

Honestly, Kravitz was baffled. So much had happened since The Hunger’s attack. He hadn’t given much thought to Lup, or Barry for that matter. Two liches. That definitely fell under the list of reap-able offenses, but there had been so much death and planar madness from that day, Lup and Barry hadn’t crossed his mind.

Apparently Kravitz had been quiet for too long. Taako’s hands had started to shake.

“Fuck,” Taako pulled away, wiping hard at the tears that fell from his eyes, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” He retreated to the living room, practically collapsing on the couch. He covered his face with his hands.

“Taako!” Kravitz followed him. Taako didn’t look up. “Taako…I don’t want to reap your sister.”

Then, Taako met his eyes. “But, what? You _have to_? She’s not–she’s not bad, Kravitz! She didn’t murder any kids. She didn’t raise any zombies. Honestly, if you want to talk about fucking shit up in a major way, I’m a hundred times worse. You might as well drag me to the astral plane.”

“I wouldn’t reap you, Taako. Your soul isn’t supposed to be there, now–” 

“But _hers_ is?” Taako stood and started frantically pacing. “Fuck that, Kravitz! You can’t take her. I’m not going to let you. I will not lose her again. I will not let another person take her from me!” He rounded to face Kravitz, eyes wild.

“Taako, please, listen to me!”

When Kravitz shouted, Taako froze. He didn’t say anything.

Kravitz quieted, realizing he may have spoken too quickly. What could he actually say? “I don’t…when I say ‘I don’t want to reap’ your sister. I don’t mean…I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Taako wrapped his arms tightly around himself.

“Lup and Barry, two liches…it’s not good. Technically, they’re undead, and they can’t just go off. If that happens, there could be riots in the Astral Plane. Riots from people who are so much more vindictive and evil than your family could ever dream of being. An undead revolt would be so _so_ bad, Taako. The gods are just putting the planes back together. That can’t happen.”

“Can I do anything? Anything to stop it? Beg you? Beg the Raven Queen? Cook for you? Give you the best blowjob of your undead life?”

Kravitz barked out a laugh, “We could talk about a couple of those things…but not in relation to what happens to Lup. I don’t want you to ever think that your sister’s safety, that your safety, relies on our relationship. That would be abominable, and I would never hold such things over your head.”

“I just…want to do something.” Taako sighed.

“That’s the problem. You just, you can’t do anything really. It has nothing to do with you.”

“She’s my twin. How could it not?”

Kravitz shrugged, “You’re not a lich.”

Taako dropped to couch again. Kravitz sat by him, but he continued to stare straight forward. “So, I just wait for someone to reap her? Can I fight you off? Is that even possible? Do I have to fight the wacky demon cloud again?”

“I mean, you’ve done it before.”

Taako gave him a look. “Yeah, but we weren’t dating.”

“I honestly don’t see how that changes anything.” Trying to lighten the mood, Kravitz replied.

“I don’t want to fight you this time.”

“Ah…” Kravitz nodded.

“But, I will.” Taako gritted his teeth. “If you–Kravitz, if I have to fight you…”

“I know, love.”

“No, you don’t. She is half of me, I need–”

“Taako…” Kravitz interrupted, and Taako looked at him. Kravitz could see his red-rimmed eyes. The wizard’s glamour spell had faded. 

Taako remained silent for a long beat, so Kravitz broke the silence.

“I’m not going to say that Lup is safe, Taako. I don’t know if it’s true, and I don’t want to lie to you. Especially about something this important to you. But, believe me, when I say I don’t want to reap her. I don’t know if I have a choice in the matter, or a second option, but it has nothing to do with you.”

“Romantic…” Taako muttered under his breath.

“Taako, I don’t want to separate you. Of course, I don’t. I know there’s nothing in the world that would hurt more than having Lup taken from you. And, I…want very much to avoid hurting you if I can.”

Kravitz turned his hand, so his palm faced upwards. Taako regarded him cautiously, but didn’t move, so Kravitz continued.

“But, that’s not even the reason I don’t want to reap Lup or Barry. I don’t want to take their souls to the eternal stockade because I don’t think they deserve it.”

Taako looked up at him.

“These laws. The illegality of liches. The rules you broke by dying and coming back so many times, the madness concerning the town of Refuge. They were created to maintain order and to keep innocent people safe from those who would destroy life to save their own. Barry and Lup…the two of them, they saved dozens of planes from a nearly unstoppable destructive force. They became liches to increase their odds, and they did it…” Kravitz laughed, “They did it by harnessing the power of love and joy.”

Taako smiled slightly at that.

“That’s not–that isn’t the normal process for your typical necromancy cult. They are the exceptions to every broken rule.”

Kravitz sighed and continued.

“I have spent centuries, maybe longer, in the Raven Queen’s service. Her laws have guided my every moment, and they have never before led me astray…This feels different. Not because of you, but because of the world. They are two of The Seven Birds, Legendary Saviors of Faerün. How could I treat them as I would treat a necromancer who sacrificed children to resurrect an undead army?”

Slowly, Taako reached out and took Kravitz’s open hand. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again and swallowed hard. Kravitz gave Taako’s hand a squeeze.

“I never thought there could be exceptions to the laws of life and death, not until you. But there very clearly are, and now…I don’t exactly what to do.”

“I don’t–uh…I don’t suppose I could convince you to say ‘fuck you’ to your boss, right?” Taako mumbled.

“That wouldn’t be good. I want to help. Any new reaper may not be as understanding…I want to figure out how to keep them here. And, if I can’t…I’ll do what I can to make sure you can still see them.”

Taako looked into his eyes. He was nervously chewing on his lip. “Really?”

“Of course.” Kravitz reached out and wiped one of Taako’s tears away with his thumb, “I want to do whatever I can to make you happy.”

A small smirk appeared on Taako’s face, before he could hide it, “I thought it wasn’t about me.”

With a small huff of air, Kravitz let himself smile, “In the true scheme of things, it’s not. If they were typical death crime offenders, it wouldn’t matter who they were to you. But, since I like them anyway, I hope to enjoy the added benefit of my love’s smile.” He brushed a lock of hair away from Taako’s face.

Almost immediately, Taako pitched forward, burying his face in Kravitz’s chest. Kravitz wrapped his arms around the wizard. Taako’s voice was muffled, as he said, “You’re really great. You know that right?”

“I have to be. I’m in love the the most amazing man in the planar system. I have to keep up.”

Taako snuggled deeper into his boyfriend.

They sat for several minutes, with Kravitz just stroking Taako’s hair. 

Taako’s whisper was barely audible. “I really don’t know what I’ll do, if I need to say ‘goodbye’ to Lup forever…”

“I know…I swear, I’ll do what I can–”

“I know,” Taako interrupted, “Can we just…maybe sit here? And pretend this isn’t a problem?”  


“Do you need me to distract you?”

“That would be great.”

Kravitz kissed the top of Taako’s head. “Tell me about the mashed potatoes.”

Taako laughed.

“They were the best potatoes I’ve ever had. I’d ask you to show me how you make them, but I’m very comfortable with you in my arms right now, so it’ll have to be a verbal lesson for the moment.”

“Well first thing, kemosabe, is you always want to use two types of potatoes…”

Taako’s words flowed over him, and Kravitz resolved to…he wasn’t sure what yet…he loved Taako, and he very much liked Lup and Barry.

He didn’t have a plan, but he was going to have to come up with something.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope eveyone's doing alright in quarantine. Take care of yourselves, wash your hands, and hopefully you enjoyed the sweet boys.


End file.
